..mati?

badan trun 3 kilo. diet mendadak? owh. tidak. tu hasil suhu badan hmpir mencecah 39.5.. tipu? entah. saya agak saje sbb tym tu tak blh fkir pape. busuknye bdn Tuhan je lah yg tahu. mata nk terjojol keluar sbb pns sgt mungkin. sakit2 sendi especially kaki. kena cucuk 3 kali. dlm sakit2 tu saya sedar banyk benda.. 1st- ibu saya sangat, sangat, sangat sayang saya.. rasa terharu gile ibu sanggup dtg amik sy lps sy bgtahu kena suspek denggi.. sbb kt s.alam tak de sape peduli pun.. g PK pun sorg2.. muntah ats katil pun sorg2.. thanks to Immaz n Mona yg tlg sy tym sy baru2 nk demam aritu.. mekasih bnyk2.. Tuhan sajelah yg dpt membalas..

2nd- nikmat sihat tu sgt penting.. lately duk bz nk kurus.. tp ada sorg member bagitahu kurus tak pnting, yg penting sihat.. betul ckp dia.. sy turun 3 kilo dlm 3 hari.. tapi life tak best pun sbb tak sihat.. 2 jam dlm emergency room.. ada plak MA ensem.. haih. rosak imej..

and 3rd- kita blh mati bila2 masa je..

tym odway balik rembau ari jumaat tu, ak seyesly fkir psl mati.. ak tak nk mati skrg.. kalo ak mati sekarang, ak tak blh tlg mak ayah ak.. ak tak de duit insurans, ak tak de pencen.. kalo ak mati, apa yg mak ayah ak dh wat utk ak slma ni sia2 saje.. bukanla nk kata diorg wat sume tu utk balasan but at least, bg pihak anak mcm ak, ak nk bls jasa diorg.. kalo ak mati mcm ni je tym bljr, mmg sia-sia la.. tpi kalo Tuhan kata ak mati tym ni, siapa ak nk melanggar takdir?

My Little Hut. Just Mine.

this is my little hut. my little place where I can speak my mind even there is no one who will understand or even read it. I dont have any good friends whom I can talk to though I always claim that I have my mum who knows me inside out, but truthfully, she didnt know everything about me but more than any other mom- doughter relationship. yeah. we are better.

each day I live, of course I need someone to talk to, to tell what I feel at that moment, to give my response, to share my thought or even to spend some quality times together. I'm just a normal human being who needs friend just like others. People said; when they want to make you feel better- its not that you will die without friends. I admit, its a fact. No one will die if they dont have friends. [Friends in my context now refer to someone who you dont have any blood relation with] but- you will feel like dying.

However, this matter will make you stronger. You can see the world in different way, not as the same when you see it together with others. You have to stand bravely because you are alone. Yes, I know, you have a family who will support you- I have it too- but this is your own life. Your mother will not be with u 24/7. Your father cannot afford to be with you, protecting you every second. Get real. Face the music. This is your life.

I used to afraid of this before. I cried. I questioned myself- What did I do wrong? Am I being too rigid, too serious about life, too.. aish. I dont even know what did I do, and now how on earth you expect me to change when all of you keep avoiding me, and looking at me as if I am the most sinful person in the world.

But hey-Its okay. I'm cool about it.

You have your own opinion. Me either. So just let it be. I'm okay with my life now. I'm getting used of it. I'm able to eat alone. I'm able to smile alone. I'm able to handle my problem alone. I'm okay with it. In fact, I will be alone after I die too.

Even sometimes I do pray that happiness will come visiting me after all this :)

Bercerita Tentang Hidup

tgk blog orang ada gmbar banyak2, baru sedar yg saya dh lama tak ber-camwhore. umur dh lanjut, malu mungkin. or maybe satu lagi alasan yg paling cool- handset tak canggih. tak ribu riban. tak blh access internet. tak blh BBM. cam tak cun.

ini adalah oyo a.k.a yong [singkatan dr buyung; panggilan mnja msa dia tgh bunting] with her babies; putih tu meiling n lagi sekor tu, oyen. bday: subuh, 15 julai 2011. meiling lahir dlu, then 10 minit lbh kurang, oyen lahir. oyo is a great mother though she didnt have a real mother since the day she born. i'm proud of u, yong <3

.. God knows how much i love them. and because of them, i think in future i'll be a over-protactive mother. anak tak blh kena usik. tp itu hanya jangkaan sahaja la merujuk pd layanan utk bdk bertiga ni termasuk si kunyit; big bos/ abg long kwsan taman ak ni.

pening buat xcymnt CYC. nth pe ak nk meraban psl corporate law ak pun tak tahu.. i'm not good with civil matters. exited tunggu xciment criminal n evi sbb tak sbr nk perasan jd dewi [konon la. utk apply jwtn dewi subjek, test n exam kena power. sorry- application anda di reject ye syu]

okeh. kes dh tunggu. bukan kena handle.
tapi kena baca. enough for now.

tata.titi.tutu

Ngomong Sama Dinding

assalamualaikum for the muslims and.. hola hu hui for non [perasan skali lagi blog baru hidup ni bnyk org nk baca] oh. saya post bnda baru lagi? korg penah tak rasa perasaan hangat2 tahi ayam yg bila bnda baru2 ni, exited nye semacam. tu la yg aku rasa skrg. exited tgk blog baru so kalo blh nk sumbat sampai 50 entry hari ni tp syg, awk tak sekreatif mana.

mode: memikirkan hala tuju blog ni

curreant age: 24 tahun, 2 bln. life: super hyper busy with hell-hell-bee. umur dh separa-matured and bila bz, sempat ke aku update blog baru ku ini? tak sempat, confirm! tambah lagi, internet tak dpt [bukan slh uitm atau apa2, laptop sy mmg tak dpt wi-fi. mklumlah, laptop stok masuk muzium]

tu bab masa- kalo topik yg nk dicakapkan?

blog dlu, penuh cite Arashi, penuh warna warni, ala2 kanak2 girang gitu. blog ni pun kaler2 gak tp idok le bold sana sini, bubuh kaler mcm2.. ngan org lain sesuai tp ngan mak tiri hitler mcm ak ni, tak sesuai ye kak. tidak sama skali. [tu antara reason nape blog lama dilupuskan]

tapi blog ini diperlukan sbb rasa mcm need something to talk to since i dont have anyone to do those kind of thing. so dari kepala memikirkan rasa mcm nk lari, rasa mcm nk kawen, rasa nk ada bf cpt, baiklah dilayan blog ku ini.


btw, reality show ini best. Yoo Jae Suk-shi mmg a true leader. thinking on how to be as good as him- sincere could be the key, perhaps?

Long Time No See

mwahahahahahahaha
guess who's back??

owh. sorry. I'm not top blogger yg punya fan beribu, cuma blogger yg dah dekat setahun menghilangkn diri dgn dunia ke'blog'an ini.. rindu?? owh. mekasih. mekasih :)

org kata manusia2 yg ada blog ni, org yg tak de life.

yup. kalo nk diaplikasikn ke hidup akU, statement ni sgt la betul. saya mmg tak de life yg happening lagi cool. sem ni sem penutup utk perjuangan jd lawyer; my childhood dream. berdoa agar segala usaha, penat jerih juga air mata yg bertakung2 tu sume berbaloi

uish. ada unsur2 mahu berdrama rasa nmpknya ni.. stop di situ sbntr. tak berminat nk berjiwa2 utk post mula2 ni.. owh. mungkin ada yg terfkir, nape nk berblog balik??

Ilham turun dari langit Ilahi, mungkin. heh.